Saturday, August 20, 2016

My Sexual Harassment experience

I have been hearing a lot of talk recently about sexual harassment in the workplace and it brought up an old wound of mine.  I have never really talked about my experience, in fact when I mentioned it to my husband he was shocked that I had never talked about it.  I thought now would be a good time to take a few moments to give you my own story and my thoughts on the topic.

The year was 1994, I had just graduated high school and was taking classes at a local community college.  I needed a job to help pay for expenses and I wanted to be able to start saving for all those dreams that I had.  I took a job working second shift at a local embroidery factory.  My job was called hooping. I had to take two squares and put them one inside the other where the embroidery would go on the shirt. For anyone who doesn't quite get that,hopefully the following video will explain. Of course we had big industrial machines, but the concept is still the same. I had to get that hoop and everything just perfect or I would have seconds (mistakes).


I was very good at my job and I enjoyed the rhythm of what I did, it was soothing and comforting. 
It was tough going to school during the day and working until midnight, but I liked my job and the team I worked with.  Everything was great for the first few weeks until my supervisor started saying things to me. At first it was all innocent, asking about my day and how school was going. Then it went into how pretty I looked and how nice my jeans fit.  At that point I took to wearing long t-shirts to cover everything up. It eventually got to the point that he would get very close, I mean right up at my ear to talk to me and put his hands on my shoulder. I didn't like it and it made me very uncomfortable, but I didn't tell because I knew it would make it worse.  A male friend that I worked with saw what was happening and told me I needed to report  my supervisor, but I told him to just let it go and not worry about it. 

By now it was to the point that I hated going to work and I would feel like throwing up every time I thought about it. Eventually that male co worker told me that was enough, he wouldn't let our supervisor treat his mother or girlfriend that way and he wasn't letting it happen to me. He reported our boss, everyone was called into the office, questioned and sent back out to do our jobs. My supervisor was not reprimanded in any way. In fact I was the one who was whispered about and treated unfairly by other co-workers.  

My time with that company only got worse as my supervisor started making me redo items that didn't need to be fixed. He became hateful and even more emotionally abusive, so I quit that job.  I knew that staying there would only make things worse and the high ups were not going to touch my boss, so I made the decision to leave.  Should I have? No. The big wigs in the company should have done something with my boss to make him stop, even if that meant firing him, but that was never going to happen.  I do know that before I left he had already found his next victim. I heard a few years later that he had finally been fired for sexual harassment. I wonder how many times he was reported or not reported before the company finally took action. 

I was just a teenager and I found another job the next day and moved on past it.  I never really thought much about it until recently with all the news reports. I know that anyone can be sexually harassed, even men, but it is more common for women.  Most stay in the jobs and never report it. Why? Maybe they feel like they can't find another job or that they just have to deal with it, but they don't. Maybe like me they know if they tell things will only get worse.  I will never know how my story might have turned out if the company had never known. My boss might have tired doing something to me that I would have had to defend myself.  I do know that I have never worked for another company again that I had to deal with being harassed in any way.  

Women and Men need to know that they don't have to take this treatment.  If you are being harassed in any way go to the company and tell them. Keep a record of every complaint that you make, a paper trail is always worth it.  If it doesn't stop keep going to the next boss up until something is done, even if that means you have to quit and sue the pants off of the company (pun intended). 






"That's my 'two-cents worth', what's yours?"





Bucket List: Part 3 (Summer 2016)

Ready or not the month of June has come! This is the sixth month (half way through the year)and I am currently sitting at eight things crossed off my list (two items ahead of schedule).

I had planned to knock a couple of things of my list this month, but with everything going on it may not be so easy. You would think that the summer months would be the easiest time to accomplish things, but with school getting out, church functions and family time I am guessing my bucket list will get pushed to the back burner, but I am going to do my best to check off some things.

We started with not checking off an item, but working towards that check off. It has always been a dream of mine to visit all 50 states.  At the beginning of June I was sitting at 17 states visited and now at the first of July I stand at 21 states visited. I am trying my best to figure out a way to be at 25 by the end of this year (here's to dreaming),

Our summer vacation was a true family road trip. We went through 9 states in seven days. I was able to check four more states of my list. I hope that y'all have enjoyed reading the series I have written on that adventure.










So now we are in July and I am still working towards that list.  I have something in the works for next month that will allow me to cross off a one more state and check off a bucket list item at the same time.

Well here we are in August, the kids are back in school and I thought it would be a perfect time to finish up this post. To celebrate turning the big 40 my husband gave me and our girls a trip to NYC.  My Mama went along with us and the trip was amazing. We took a bus up to the city, saw the Statue of Liberty, the 911 museum, took the girls to the American Girl Store and stayed in the heart of Time Square. We had one free day so we went to the very top of the Empire State Building, stopped off at the NYC public library, did some shopping and saw Central Park.

Getting to see Lady Liberty is something I have wanted to do since I was a small child and I finally got to check that off.  I will be writing a separate post on that trip but here is a little sneak peek picture for you.




I have to say that the summer has been full of adventures and excitement and I hate to see it end, but these kids have to get an education.  As far as my Bucket List goes, I should and wanted to have eight things crossed off by now. I am happy to report that I have 9  things crossed off, so I am still ahead of schedule. I have made some leeway in two other things, but not marked them off completely.  Of course, everything on the list can't be checked off this year, but I still have lots that can be done. Here's to making a life that counts and living everyday to it's fullest.  


"That's my 'two-cents worth', what's yours?"





Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Dear Younger Me

Dear Younger Me,

      How do I start this? Where do I begin?  To be honest I am sort of drawing a blank. There is so much I want to say to you. So many things I want you to realize before you become Dear older me. I don't want this letter to be filled with tacky cliches, but I have a feeling you will find at least a few written among  these lines.

To start, I have to say sleep is a beautiful thing.  I may just be saying that due to the lack of it I got last night, but it is still very important.  I know how tempted you are to stay up late. To hang with your friends until the wee hours of the morning, but trust me your older self will thank you so much for the sleep you get now.

 Also, no matter how good your "genes" are you still need to take care of your skin.  I don't expect you to slather sun screen every time you walk out the door, but you will see the importance of it the closer you get to 40. Take care of what you put into your body and how you treat it. Just don't be to much of a stickler, a cupcake or three every now and then won't kill you and don't feel guilty if you don't eat healthy everyday, some days are just made for junk food. Try to find time each week to get some form of exercise, just walking in place while watching television means at least your moving.    What I am trying to say is remember that your body is a temple of God and treat it as you think he wants you to.

There will be enough things to make you cry so find something everyday to laugh at. I mean a good old fashioned belly chuckle. The kind that makes you cry tears of joy. Laughter really is the best medicine.


Remember to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Not every group of people that you know will be right for you.  You will know when you have to let someone go. It will be that obvious. Some people are just toxic to whom ever they are with and you need to put distance  between them and you.  Strive to find the people that make you happy, stronger and give encouragement. Life is to short to waste on stupid people!


Try to understand that giving up doesn't necessarily mean giving in.  There will be times that you have to let go of a dream or idea. Doing that doesn't mean defeat, it just means that you are grown enough to accept the truth.


I hope that you always work hard and don't be lazy, people don't like lazy bums, unless their liberal.
Never be a liberal!! I know that in the world you will feel the pull to leave your Conservative roots and embrace liberalism, please don't.  Always remember that the freedoms we have are bought and paid for with the blood and lives of patriots and they didn't fight for liberalism.



Stay close to your family.  Remember Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. (You knew at least one Disney idea would be in this and I totally wrote that in my Stitch voice).


Save!!! I can not stress it enough! I am not saying never spend any money, but make a point to save some. It doesn't have to be much, $10 a week starting off is still a start. You can always increase that amount later on.



After telling you to save now I come to the good part. Live! Travel! See the world! There are so many ways to travel on a budget and still travel nice.  Also make sure that you do a lot of travelling before kids. That way you can experience all of your destination without having to worry about keeping a little human occupied. They can be pretty testy sometimes.



I just have two more pieces of advice to impart:

Show Jesus to the world. No matter what may be going on today and in the future people still need to see the love of Jesus.  It is easy to do. Be kind, show compassion, it will make a difference.  I recommend doing three acts of kindness every month. One for family, one for a friend and one for a stranger.  You never know how much one simple little act of kindness can make a huge difference for someones day, week, or even life.

Finally and most important, always seek God's will for your life. There may be plans that you have that are not what he wants for you.  Put him first in your life and you will never go wrong.


Enjoy life!!!!  Go out and grab it by the horns or the tail or whatever you can get a hold of. Don't sit and wait for life to find you, because it will and then it will pass you by.  Don't be the woman who wakes up on her 40th birthday and wonders what she did with her life. Be the woman who can wake up and say look what I have done with my life. Make everyday count and live it to its fullest potential.


It has been rumored that Albert Einstein once said, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Be that person who sees everything, no matter how big or small, as a miracle. 
I know there is something important or really philosophical I forgot to say and it will come to me later, but until then just take this advice, go forth and conquer the world. 


*As I was writing this letter I realized that I was in fact writing to two dear younger me's. I have two daughters who will one day be grown and out of the nest. I can only hope that I have prepared them for life as best as I could.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoO0kyPRu3M




"That's my 'two-cents worth', what's yours?"



Saturday, July 23, 2016

Ellis Family Road Trip 2016: The Finale

and the story continues...

Thursday June 30, 2016:

After a very restless night we had breakfast and headed toward Osceola Arkansas. I wanted to find a place beside the Mississippi River to gather some rocks and sand.  During this trip we had been picking up rocks from every state and I wanted sand from the river to put in my vacation sand jar. We found a spot way off the beaten path, got our rocks and sand, then after talking with a local we headed to Sans Souci Landing. What a wonderful place for taking pictures. It was a nice little stop to make and we really enjoyed it. After a little time resting by the river, we decided to head north just a little so I could cross Missouri off my list of states visited.










My feet in the Mississippi 








We then headed back into Tennessee and stopped at the Tennessee Safari Park in Alamo TN. The Safari Park was so much fun and I even got kissed by a giraffe.





We named this camel Snoop Dogg


After our Safari adventure we decided to stop for an early supper at the Log Cabin Restaurant. The food was better than Cracker Barrell!

Fried Chicken steak with collard greens, pintos, onions and mac and cheese. Classic Southern Comfort food!

We decided to stop early for the night in Brentwood Tennessee, just outside of Nashville so the kids could have some pool time. I have to say the Baymont Inn was so nice and we slept much better that night.

Friday July 1, 2016

After a fantastic breakfast we continued our travels east and stopped at The Hermitage, the plantation home of Andrew Jackson. He was never my favorite president, but I learned a lot of new things I never knew about him and gained a new respect for the person that he was.










After a few hours there we headed toward home again and decided to surprise our 10 year old by stopping in Pigeon Forge Tennessee to have supper at Paula Deen's Family Kitchen. The food was served family style and a dessert was included.  Even though it was more expensive than we normally pay for a meal, it was worth the extra to see the excitement on our daughters face.




We could have driven the entire 5 hours home, but that would have put our arrival at about 1 in the morning, so we decided to stop for the night in Morristown TN, at the Holiday Inn Express. We just agreed that would give us some rest and that we could take our time the next day.


Saturday July 2, 2016:

After another amazing HIE breakfast, we hit the road for the final day of our trip.  We went through Virginia and finally saw that wonderful and beautiful Welcome to North Carolina sign. We decided to stop about 30 minutes from home and eat at one of our favorite places, Amigos. It is a small Mexican restaurant in King. The food and service is always excellent and the staff always friendly.

When we arrived home, we were greeted by a very excited Dixie Belle. I have to say I was so happy to see her too.
The following videos shows both of our excitement!

https://www.facebook.com/timpy.ellis/videos/10206291960689193/

https://www.facebook.com/timpy.ellis/videos/10206291960729194/

Over all the trip was awesome, extraordinary and tiring.  It was hard for someone like me who always has a plan to step away and just "wing it" but I did. We had an adventure like never before and our girls say they can't wait to do it again.




"Thats my 'two-cents worth', what's yours?"