Thursday, September 22, 2016

The Great Pretender

What is a pretender? I think we all know the answer to that question, but just to clarify. A pretender is a person who claims or aspires to a title or position.  I can see how that definition would apply. For me pretender means more. It is not just about who someone claims to be, but about how that person is perceived by others. Of course perception is based on what another person sees or notices, so I guess it all depends on how you present yourself. I know lots of pretenders. Those who act one way in front of certain people.  In fact, I am a pretender.  I hide my true self to all the people in my life. I don't want to let me secret out, but I will tell it here. I am really Wonder Woman! What? You have never seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together have you?

Just so you know this is a difficult post to write about, so I thought a little joke would ease my nerves just a bit. 

To say that I am a great pretender would be saying I am good at hiding things, mostly what is on the inside.  I get up everyday, put my life is great face on and head out to meet my world.  My world consists of my husband, children, my church family, my extended family and one little girl who calls me Tink.  Everyday I have to put up a front that everything is peachy king.  If my marriage is struggling I hide it. If my kids are being rebellious I hide it.  If my heart is hurting I hide it.  Most days I do pretty good keeping the emotions in check and putting on my happy face. Then there are days that I can barely manage and by the end of the day I am flat out exhausted. Do you have any idea how tiring it is to go through an entire day with a broken heart, but you have to hold it all in? It is very tiring. So tiring in fact that you just want to go to bed and sleep until the next day. Of course with a family that is not an option. You just have to trudge on through and try to rest after the day is done. 

I am almost certain that the majority of people we come in contact with are pretenders. They are just trying to get through each and every day, hiding some problem or distress from the world. How many times do we ask someone, "How are you doing?" and they respond, "Fine". Are they really fine or do they say that because it is socially acceptable? Do they really want to talk about what is bothering them and feel they can't? I am guilty of giving the "Fine" answer, but really wanting to talk about it.  I tell friends, family, even my husband that I'm fine, when on the inside I am broken. 

How many times do we pass people on the street, they smile and say hello and look happy, but they are really broken on the inside. They have their mask in place hiding their true selves from the world. I think we should be careful of what we say or do to others, you never know who is fighting a battle and who feels like giving up.  I am reminded of a certain passage in the Bible,

  Matthew 12:36

"But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgement. 

I have not always been the best at watching what I say to others or even the tone I use, but Jesus is still working on me, to make me what I ought to be.  

The points I am really trying to make are these:1. Everybody struggles, we all have problems and we all face things. We all do a good job of hiding it. 2.  We should all watch our words, tone and body language when we deal with others. There should never be any bullying, pressuring or making us feel like our emotions/feeling are not valid.

Always ask Jesus for guidance and the right words, he will give them to you and help you to speak them.

Of course, I could never write about being a Great Pretender without a shout out to The Platters and the song that says it.

"That's my 'two-cents worth', what's yours?"

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