Friday, January 6, 2017

My Best Friend

For the last 40 years I have had this friend. She is not just any friend, she is absolutely my best friend. When I was a little girl she was my favorite person in the whole world.  I loved to see her coming to my Grandmother's house. As I got older our relationship changed and things just weren't the same.  I got married and had a daughter of my own and our relationship would took another turn.  It would happen that things went back to what they had been when I was just a little girl. I guess you could say it did a 180 and then a 180 again. Some of y'all may have figured out that this friend I speak of is my mother.

Let me start off telling you just a little bit about this woman I call not only my mother, but my friend.
My Mama grew up in  a small town in North Carolina. She had 4 sisters and one brother.

She married at 16 and had my two brothers by the time she was 19 and then I was born when she was 25.

She spent her whole life working in a textile mill and then when it shut down she was finally able to get her high school diploma. She sacrificed every year for me and my brothers. She always made sure we got a summer vacation, Christmas and my brothers got to go to Boy Scout camp.

 It meant taking money from her check each week, but she always made the ends meet.  For the last 28 years of her life she took care of my physically disabled brother and never regretted it a day of that time. She was a perfect example of the Proverbs 31:10-31 woman.


In April 2015 my mother was diagnosed with Cancer. We were told it was bile duct cancer that had made it's way to the outer area of her liver.  I did a little research and discovered that it is a very rare type of cancer and the survival rate is less than 10%.  She started chemo treatments and we tried our best to be positive. The cancers growth was stopped, but it didn't ever really start to shrink. In October 2016 we were told the cancer had spread to multiple areas in her body, but she decided to try more aggressive treatments. After just two treatments it was obvious that the chemo was doing more harm than good. On November 31st she made the decision to have no more treatments, on December 2 she moved into a Hospice facility.

On December 4th at 8 am as I sat talking with her and holding her hand she passed away.

No one will ever know, unless they have been there, how thankful I am that I was with her.  She tried to speak to me right before hand, but was unable too.  My last words to her were, "Mama I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I love you."

I miss her so very much. There are times when it still just doesn't seem real, like she has only gone away on a trip and will be coming home any moment. There are still so many things I need to talk to her about, so many things I need her for and so many things we wanted to do together.  

My Mama was an amazing woman. She was a giver her entire life and often got taking advantage of due to her strong compassion. She was a victim of domestic violence early on in her marriage, and most of her life was never easy. I am grateful that the Lord didn't allow her to suffer and gave her the easy passing I had prayed he would.

In the year before her death God allowed her to travel with us on three separate vacations: the beach, our southern road trip and New York City for my 40th birthday. She had never been able to travel with us like that and I believe God gave us that extra time to make so many precious memories with her.  

Goodbye to my mother and my best friend. Until we meet again at the great reunion in the sky you will be forever missed and loved.

My mother and Mammy to my girls, Brenda.
12/1950 to 12/2016
The best friend I have ever known
Dipping here toes in the Mississippi River
June 2016 

"That's my 'two-cents worth', what's yours?"



  1. What a sweet tribute to your mother. You are blessed to have all the memories and love you two shared. May the Lord continue to comfort you as never before.

    1. This is from Susan Fullerton. Praying for you my sister.