Monday, March 30, 2015

When My Calling was called Inadequate (at least it felt that way)

I recenly had a interesting conversation with another mother. We are friends and our children  play together. I am a stay at home mom. She is a working mother. They have new cars and live in a brick home. (They are making payments) We have used cars and live in a modest home. (All of it is paid for).  Her children are giving almost everything by their grandparents. I fuss at my parents when they give to my kids. I feel if you give to them everyday they will not and can not appreciate it. We get together for the children to play, but I always leave feeling uncomfortable. It always seems to feel as if all they have is being flaunted in my face. Of course I am sure that is only way it comes across. It is still hard when my youngest always leaves talking about all these kids have and how she wants the same stuff. My response to her is, "there is always your birthday and Christmas, put them on your list."  I often feel as if she believes  that by being a stay at home I am depriving my children of things, that I am not living up to my potential. Can I just say that I resent being made to feel this way (even if it is not the intention). I feel like my job is one of the most important there is. I am always available to be with my children. If they are sick at school I can go right to pick them up and not have to call someone else. I am there if they are sick or hurt. I recall the time I spent with my oldest as she was going through chemo treatments and think about how I would not have been able to be with her and work a full time job.

I have always lived a financially conservative lifestyle. Some would call me cheap, but I just call it being money responsible, a lesson I am trying to teach my children.  I coupon, save, price match and do anything else I can to make each and every dollar stretch and go as far as possible.  I am sure some people wonder about how we vacation like we do. Simple, we have a certain amount each year budgeted for vacation and we only do big vacations (like Disney) after we have saved up all the funds needed for the trip.  I am completely and totally against charging vacations or any big purchase. You should only buy those types of things if you have the cash money to pay for them. For example, we just bought a new to us minivan and we paid cash for it. The idea of buying a brand new car, having 7 years of payments and having it loss $5000 in value as soon as you drive off the lot is unbearable to me.

My husband works hard to provide for us. We have never been hungry or done without the necessities of life. The Lord has always provided for us all of our needs and even some of our wants.  There have been lots of times we have had to say no, not only to our children, but to ourselves as well. There have been numerous times I have wanted something, but I will leave it to think about it. Most often I find I really didn't really want it after all. I don't feel the need to buy my kids brand new clothes and shoes every week. In fact often times I buy most of their clothes at thrift stores, yard sales and consignments.

My children may not have all they want, but they do have all their needs meet. They do have a mother that does all she can to take care of them. These are the important things. If people choose to work or even have no choice that is fine, but not degrade what I do (or make me feel that way) just because you don't like my choice.  I am a modern women. I do not live in the 1950's and my husband does not make me stay home. I choose to do it because it is all I have ever wanted to do.

"That's my 'two-cents worth', what's yours?"

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